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Writer's pictureAdam Funderburg

Can you elaborate? Will you elaborate?

From time to time my hearing fails me. Often actually. My hearing fails me and I am amazed at what I see that people are hearing. I can see that they are hearing what I am not because they are conversing and replying to each other while I am confused as to why I cannot understand what they are saying.

There are plenty of times that a few people say things and I can hear them just fine though I don't understand what they mean. When I say that I don't understand they just repeat themselves. Granted I have them repeat themselves frequently because I cannot hear very well but when I say that I don't understand that is very different than I didn't hear what was said.

If they just repeat themselves I have two choices. I can ask "Can you elaborate" or I can say "Will you elaborate". They are frequently confused but they are very different. Do you have the ability is a different question than are you willing to take the time to rephrase or explain deeper?

This is a question of caring.

Usually there are two kinds of people in front of me. One that has a small vocabulary and they tend to think for a microsecond and then repeat themselves again. They know what they meant so I should too; they have no empathy and to question themselves is painful. The second take a second to think about what they said and how it could be interpreted in a way that they didn't intend. If they cannot figure out the problem they will ask for some direction; "Where did I lose you" they might say.

We can all elaborate and we can all care. Will we take the time to look at a situation from the perspective of another; seek it if it does not come naturally or will we just pencil whip and repeat ourselves and say "It was good enough; I know what I meant. Our communication is your problem."?

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